The NBA is fixed and I HATE the Heat

I preface this post/rant with the fact that this is solely my opinion and while I believe it to be true, I could be wrong…

After watching Game 1, I come away practically convinced that the NBA is a fixed sport. David Stern and the other NBA higher ups want Miami to win so they all don't end up with egg on their face from the big "announcement" and all the hoopla surrounding it. To make matters worse, the announcers for last night's game were so incredibly biased and praise filled for the Heat. I'm not a Dallas fan, but my gosh, you'd think that the Heat were the best thing to come around since sliced bread. I thought at some point it would stop and they would go back to being the normal, unbiased announcers like they should be. These weren’t the local, hometown station announcers. These were the national television network announcers and they were talking the Heat up like they were Gods. It really disgusted me to say the least. Almost to the point of not watching and I do think for the next game, if I watch it, that I will watch with the sound off and look for a radio broadcast to listen to with the game. I am sincerely hoping I am wrong and that this turns out to be a fair series where the better team wins. But after last night and Dallas literally just falling apart near the end of the third and most of the fourth quarter, it makes me wonder. Perhaps it was just rust from being off, I guess we shall see in the next game. This situation reminds me of how I used to hate the CBS announcers for the Lakers/Celtics finals in the 80s. I'd turn off the sound on the tv and listen to Chick Hearn instead as I was a Lakers' fan at the time since I lived in Los Angeles.

Don't get me wrong, the "Small Three" are talented, well actually "Small Two" because I don't count Bosh as anything more than an overrated role player. If he's so talented, where did he lead the Raptors for the years he played with them? I really can't stand him. I really enjoyed the times Shaq would verbally shoot barbs at him, he deserves them all. D.Wade? I can't say much about him. I like and respect him. He's a great player and not an arrogant, flamboyant ass like a good portion of the players nowadays. Speaking of an arrogant ass, I save the worst/best for last. Lebron. In all honesty, him and his "talents" can go fuck themselves. I can't argue the man has talent and is one of the best players in the league, but he has to be the most arrogant SOB I've seen in a long time in professional sports. Think back, there have been many players before him who where "The guy" of their time period and none of them has been nearly the ass that he is. Dr. J? Magic? Bird? Jordan? No, those guys had class. Perhaps they talked a lot of crap on the court, but off the court and interviews, they weren't the huge A-hole that Lebron is. I sincerely hope the Heat fail and I have hoped for this their whole big announcement. The Celtics messed up by trading Perkins, else I might not even be writing this today since I do not think they would have gotten past the Celtics if they had a tough, inside presence that Perkins gave them.

I can only hope that the NBA is truly a competitive sport and not the fixed, money mongering machine it looks like. If the Heat win, this may be the end of me watching NBA basketball. All it will prove is money can buy championships and that three individual "superstars" weren't good enough on their own to win by themselves. 

Diet-Day something

So this diet... its been an experience to say the least. I just need to muster the discipline to effing stick with it. The good news is even though I've gone off track with it a number of times, I had lost another pound the other day when I weighed. Its time I grow up and start acting like an adult maybe? Take responsibility for my own actions? Maybe look towards my future and the future of my children so I can be here for them? Yeah, I think its time...

My Diet- Day 3

Day 3- I am doing better than expected. I’ve lost 6 lbs in 3 days so far. Yes, I know most of this is water weight most likely, but I do notice my middle is a bit smaller. I still have a LONG ways to go, but it’s a great start. The diet is interesting thus far. The concepts are solid and are things I’ve known for years, it just seems to have put it all together into a diet. I wish I could have thought about doing that as this one was on the NY Times best seller list. I could be thin and rich. LOL

I do have to say its difficult grocery shopping with my daughter. When I’m alone, I can just got the items I want and be done with shopping. With my little one, however, we have to look at everything and its rough. Plus my previous behaviors we’d get all kinds of “fun” stuff like candy, donuts, cookies, soda, poptarts, etc. It was real rough last night. I had MAJOR cravings for stuff, but I managed to get out of there without ruining my diet. I did cheat a bit last night and had 4 of her fritos and abit of her chocolate milk. But not too bad overall.

This morning it was blackberries and plain yogurt, plus turkey sausage with onions. I did have to have coffee instead of the green tea this morning. But I’ll make up for that later. I need to go back and read through parts of the book again as I need some clarification on things and want to see what I have to look forward to in the second 17 phase of the diet.

I also need to incorporate more exercise into this. I still haven’t stepped foot into the gym, its almost like I’m afraid to go back. Not sure why, kind of weird in that respect. I’ve been walking at least. In fact, walking from the parking to my desk at work is ¼ mile. Its also a ¼ mile from my desk to the cafeteria and although I don’t eat there anymore, that is where the scale that I’ve been weighing myself on is located. So I’m walking at least an extra mile every day. But I know I need to add more. A friend on Twitter mentioned her husband benches over 300, I replied I used to be able to do that. I’d love to get there again, so maybe its time to start.

Ok, that’s all for now. Have a great weekend!

17 Day Diet- And so it begins...

Its time, or it has been time and I'm finally deciding to do something about it. I'm starting the 17-Day Diet tonight and hope that this will be the final push I need to be healthy again. Actually I’m restarting as it started it Monday and then had a really lousy day Tuesday and resorted to comfort foods instead of getting pissed off. I guess that’s a plus right? 

I'm really frustrated with myself as I had lost a good 60 lbs while going through the divorce with all the depression. But I've gained it all back and then some. Very, very frustrating!! I have a good friend who has just started this diet and she's lost 10 lbs already, only 8 days in. I've read most of the book and it has some interesting concepts. The majority of them make sense to me and are things I actually have known a long time, just haven't put them into practice. I've noticed that my self confidence has waned greatly since I have put on the extra weight. Even my two older children have remarked that I've gained a lot. So… its just time. I need to be here for them and for my kids, so not only is this a choice for me but its been a choice for them as I would like to be around to see them get married and to be able to hold my grandchildren. This also means getting my lazy ass to the gym. I been paying $30 a month for the damn membership and totally not going. I'm such an idiot and a lazy one to boot. Time for major life changes that I intend to make part of my life even after I've lost the necessary amount of weight I need to lose to be healthy and non-diabetic. I did it before and I know I can do it again. Its just so hard sometimes trying to juggle everything at the same time. 

Hopefully I can keep posting here and update my PROGRESS. I definitely need to do this… its now or never.

Tired of being sick, having food allergies, or whatever the F

Warning- I will ramble in this one, but try to make it coherent.

I am so sick of being... sick. Not a cold, flu or anything like that. Just the random food allergies that I have or supposedly have. Since I was 25, I discovered (I think) that I was lactose intolerant. Over the years I've fought with this, trying little bits here and there. Sometimes having success, other times crashing and burning horribly. A few weeks ago, I had a yearly checkup and the doctor mentioned that she thought I had Celiac's disease, or allergic to wheat gluten. I looked it up and sure as heck, it looked like I had it as I had a number of the symptoms. I got the test she suggested, just the blood test though, not doing the endoscopy thanks. The test came back negative. Now I am completely dumbfounded. I then read an article in Men's Health that the newest "intolerance" to come about the past few years is a Gluten Intolerance. So now... what the F do I have? I honestly have no idea at this point. I did do some reading about gluten and talked to my doc again regarding it. I learned that one of the reasons gluten intolerance is becoming prevalent is the fact that the wheat is now genetically altered in a lot of foods. I had no idea... WTF?!?!?!?!? We can't just leave things as God made them, no we got to F with them to make them "better" and in the process screwing them up. Maybe I'll go back to being Vegan. I just don't know at this point. I didn't have near the issues when I was Vegan during my injury (long story there), so maybe thats the answer. I just don't know anymore... 

"Stolen" Questionnaire

I read this on a blog I follow and could not resist reposting and inserting my own answers. Needless to say this has been "borrowed" many times. It kind of reminds me of one of the FB notes I did when I first joined up. Wow how my answers have changed in two years, maybe I'll do that one here as well.

Enjoy... or not ;)

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

My idea of perfect happiness... that seems to change from time to time. It definitely involves being around or close to my daughter. She is the light of my life and without her, I don't think I would have found the strength to keep going in some of my darkest hours. I'd also like to find a mate that is perfect... for ME. I see the mistakes I made, the misconceptions I had regarding what I wanted in a mate, and feel I can see things more clearly now that I am older. I just want to be happy, as stress free as possible and have as many of my loved ones (friends and family) around me as I can.

What is your greatest fear?

Losing my daughter. I could expound on why, but then I'll just get all emotional.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Interesting question. There are a few possibilities but I'd have to go with Miyamoto Musashi. The greatest Japanese swordsman of all time. His philosophies in his Book of Five Rings can be applied to many aspects of life, not just battle.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Lack of self confidence... if that is a trait.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Dishonesty.

What do you most value in your friends?

Honesty and loyalty.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

"As I said", "Really?" and others that I won't mention here. ;)

What is your favorite journey?

Watching my daughter grow from this tiny baby who needed everything done for her to the self sufficient, intelligent, and beautiful little girl I see now. I'd like to keep her this way forever, they grow way too fast. But I have loved watching her grow, develop and evolve.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Forgiveness- There are just some areas where it will never apply.

What is your favorite occupation?

I have finally learned to enjoy writing. I was always told in school I should go into journalism. It was always something I was very good at, but didn't want as a career. Funny how things end up as I'm a technical writer by trade and have been for the past 12 years.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?

My weight obviously. I really need to get going on it not only for looks but for my health.

What is your greatest regret?

Not being able to say goodbye to my Dad. He did it his way and chose to leave us before myself, my brother and my cousin could get there to see him one last time. He passed the day before we were all to arrive.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Tough one. The who is my daughter, she is the center of my world. The what is the ocean. I grew up fishing and bodyboarding in it. To me, nothing is more serene than the sound of the waves hitting the beach, the view of the sun rising over the horizon as you're sitting out waiting for the next set, and just the smell/sounds of the sea.

When and where were you happiest?

I want to say when my daughter was born, but when you add in the ex... its kind of a wash sadly. I'm pretty happy now, the happiest I've been in a long, long time. I'm been over my ex and the failure of my marriage since December.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would have never had a temper. Its ruined a lot of things in my life and probably will be the cause of my death due to all the stress its caused over the course of my life.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Oddly this comes right after the question about my temper. Learning to control my anger. I have come to grips with it, learned to control it for the most part, and realize now I got mad about a lot of little, insignificant things.

What is your most treasured possession?

Certain pictures I have of my family. My wedding day pic with my Dad that he kept on his dresser until he passed, the pic of my little one in her first portrait, I could go on...

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Losing my child in some manner and having no power to do anything about it. I would be totally devastated.

Where would you like to live?

Hawaii, unless its changed drastically since I was there last. I have lots of family there and it just feels like "home". Its hard to explain, maybe that will be a post topic sometime.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I'd have to say my short, flat filipino nose or as my best friend annoying characterized it, my "pug nose".

What is your greatest extravagance?

Hmmm... depends on my mood really. Oh well, these all can't be perfect answers. ;)

What are the qualities you most like in a woman?

A sense of humor, loyalty, and being very affectionate.

Who are your favorite writers?

R.A. Salvatore and others. I really need to start reading more again.

How would you like to die?

I don't even ponder it. Quickly and painlessly if I had to say something, but who doesn't want to go that way?

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

This will sound a bit childish, but I'd have to go with Wolverine. More so from the recent representations in the movies rather than the comic. I have that same sort of beast inside me, just no claws to go with it. ;)

Who are your heroes in real life?

My parents. They shaped who I am in more ways than I realized as a kid. Having my own children now and being older have opened my eyes to that.

What is your motto?

Although its not my creation, it would have to be "Just do it".

Weather

Snow or no snow... that is the question. heh

Firefox

Grrrrr!

So for those of you whom have viewed my blogs or have blogs I am "attempting" to follow, I apologize in advance. I've been trying to follow other people's blogs and Firefox keeps effing with me. I've turned off the pop-up blocker, made an exception for blogspot.com, and still it blocks. I really don't want to go back to IE, but I am almost getting to that point...


That is all... venting done!

Sleep

Sleep, why has thou forsaken me???

The past month or so, save for a few days here and there, I have been unable to sleep through the whole night. Friends have a number of theories: Sleep Apnea, Anxiety, No Sex, Medications, etc.  I honestly don't know. I have sleeping pills, but am reluctant to take them as I've read and been told they get to be addictive... to the point of not being able to sleep without them. I DO NOT need that. So here I am, up at 4am and wondering WTF!  So far I've been able to knock off a couple of theories but am really to the point of having to give up and go in for another sleep test. This time with that dreaded CPAP machine. Before I do that, however, I am going to attempt to lose weight as that should ease the snoring/sleep apnea... to an extent anyways. If that doesn't work, then I guess I will have to look into it. I tried the nose strips... nothing. I don't even see how they help athletes. I mean really, if your nasal passages are that closed, you must have some sort of issue.

Anyways, just a short post but relevant to why I'm up so damn early! Have a good day!

Aloha!

My Dad

Today my Dad would have been 82. I find it hard to believe. Sometimes it feels as though he's been gone a long time and others where it seems like it was only yesterday I was packing for my flight to CA only to get a phone call from my Mom that he passed a few minutes ago. I'm at peace with it now, I wasn't for a long time. I was in a huge depression for at least 2 years and I still feel the final step is spreading his ashes in Hawaii, perhaps in Pearl Harbor if we can somehow figure out how to do it without getting fined. Yes, my Mom still has his ashes at home, she is having a hard time letting him go too and its now been over 5 years. I can't say that I blame her either, but I believe I need to "bury" him for that final closure.

I think the hardest thing has been that knowing he never got to hold his granddaughter. I found out my ex was pregnant in June 2006, roughly 6 months after he passed. I really felt that he somehow pulled some strings in Heaven and helped with the process. Why? Because I was kicked down there as a kid and we had been trying to have a baby for about 3 years with no success. While I was overjoyed at the fact that I would have my own biological child, it was very disappointing that I knew he would never get to hold her, see her, or get to play with her. I did however take solace in the fact that a number of times as my little one was growing up, she seemed to be looking at him or listening to him talk. I recall a number of incidents where she'd be staring at a spot behind me as I was rocking her as if someone was there. They say that children have the ability to see things that we, as adults, have closed our minds to. I would like to believe that is true. She has also said a few Hawaiian words that I did not teach her nor would she have heard on TV. She's 4 now and speaks of him less and less. I also don't feel his presence as much as I used to. I guess he figures that I am finally doing better and he can let me live my life.

I still miss him even though he and I did not have the most loving relationship. I can only look back now at the fond memories of I have of fishing every weekend with him, working on my Mustang, and doing other odd things outside with him while he was still able to. I hope to pass some of these things along to my daughter when she is old enough for them.

Happy Birthday Dad, you're love and missed!