Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Letter to my Dad, seven years later...

I have been thinking about it for the past few weeks and I find it very hard to believe that its been 7 years already.  It seems like it was just yesterday that Mom called to tell me you were gone, 1 day before I was supposed to fly out to say goodbye.  I’ve finally forgiven you for that, but I also know that you went out on your own terms, the way you wanted to and I respect you for that.  You didn’t even let Mom say goodbye, you waited until she stepped away to make a few calls and when she returned you had already left.  I’m sorry that I moved away and that I wasn’t there for you and Mom those last few years.  It is most definitely one of the regrets I will carry with me the rest of my days.

I will always believe that you somehow had a hand in bringing Jessi into this world. You had to since she was conceived a few months after you passed and we had been trying for years to have a baby.  I wish could be here seeing her grow up, seeing her learn, hearing her laugh, and watching her play.  You would totally adore her and she would have you wrapped around her little finger as she does with me.  She loves fishing, Spam, and talks all the time about when we get to see “her people” again.  Her people being Hawaiians.  I have an inkling that you visit her from time to time, just like you did shortly after she was born.  Sadly she is at the age when she probably won’t “see” you anymore since I have read that children lose that ability between 5 and 7 years of age.  I still recall her looking at something in the corner of her room, almost like she was watching someone.  I remember asking her if it was Grandpa Pete and she got the biggest smile on her face.  There have been the little Hawaiian phrases she has used as she has been growing up that I did not teach her.  Even the way she squatted down to look at something in the grass when she was 2, she must have seen you do it and was copying you because I can remember that was your way of sitting down without actually sitting down.  She looks forward to June when we are hoping to finally put you to rest in Hawaii and see all of the family, if the reunion is still going on as planned.

I am sure you were happy to see your old friend Butch again, may he rest in peace.  He passed on the 13th of this month and it has brought back a lot of memories.  I got to talk to him briefly and was able to thank him for all the good times and most of all, for playing and singing at your funeral.  Hopefully you guys have been catching up and playing ukulele together.  

I love you Dad. I miss you every day.

Your Son,